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Has anyone ever been in awe of anything?
In love with anything?
Has anyone ever been stumped by the cruel ways of the world?
And dumbstruck by the mysteries of this universe, of this planet earth on which he treads, never really knowing whether it is a boon or a curse that he bears upon himself that he does this?
Has anyone wondered why the sun shines and the stars twinkle?
Why "A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever"?
Why one feels alone in this vast and crowded planet, despite a long list of acquaintances that one so strongly misinterprets as friends? And yet again, would so easily mistake those who really care for him as his foes who are all out to do him harm, as if they were born with the sole objective to hurt him, to inflict pain and to bring sorrow to the otherwise happy heart? To moisten his ophthalmic organs?
As a matter of fact, has anyone ever wondered that in this vast world, how many people are there whom we can truly call as our friends? I am not talking about the people whom we know, but about people whom we really know, whom we would want to know better, and who put a smile on our faces just because we are happy that we came to know them, because of whom we no longer feel lonely, as we know that these are the people who are important to us and care for us! We believe that we love these people; we care about them, because they provide us with the sensuality that we ourselves lack at times, because we perceive them to be the people we are comfortable with and in front of whom we can give vent to our emotions without the fear of being mocked or ridiculed? And yet why do we tend to offend those very people we know most, whom we love, living in the belief that since they know us, they would understand, while we, on our parts never do the same? Why do we demand unto others what we ourselves our incapable of delivering, incapable of endorsing for ourselves, and what we ourselves do not follow?
Come to think of it, has anyone wondered why the heart craves for what it does not have, and yet so assiduously ignores or rejects what comes its way?
Further, has anyone ever found time to wonder and thank God for the gifts He has bestowed upon us (rather than just taking it for granted whatever comes his way, and condemn for what is not)?
Has anyone ever wondered why one does what he does, says what he says, and hears what he at times could have wanted to so easily ignore and not taken cognizance of?
Why does what happens happen, and what does not, does not?
Why are the things the way they are, and why not the way they are not?
Why?
Well, I have, my friends, I have. I have wondered about all this and more. And have been flabbergasted, awed, and delighted by the mysteries of what is called life. In those dark nights, with a cigarette in my hand, I have thought about all this for hours, stretching them, which otherwise seemed to fly away in a jiffy had I not cared to keep awake in the haze of the tobacco smoke. I have wondered and thought as to why it all happens?
But I am sure people must be wondering why am I writing all this? (Are you, or have you lost all motivation to wonder?) Well for one, I am writing because I wanted to. Wanted not because I owe a justification or an apology to anyone (and I do not and am actually not giving one either, for I have faith that whatever I do is for a cause that I can justify to myself, if not everyone!) nor do I have any ambition to be a demagogue. But I am writing for I genuinely feel that it becomes imperative for me to put my thoughts in words whenever I am losing focus. And maybe I just want to share it with you all, not giving cognizance to whatever led me to such thoughts (which are anyways too personal to share!). And I come here neither to condemn anyone in particular, nor to get sentimental either (as sentiments not supported by reasons tend to bury the cause itself). But I come here to ask a few questions, and to make an honest endeavor to find an answer, and give reason to the feelings floating around and which threaten to become so pertinent and persistent that reason be lost thereof.
To reason thus should not be misconstrued to being sentimental though. And as a matter of fact, I have personally felt that to be sentimental is in some ways to be unreasonable. I have, at times, really been tempted to believe that if I acted thus, if I withdrew from something that was not to my liking-guided by my emotions or sentiments, it would be an end to it! It would deliver me from all the miseries that seem to abound aplenty if I did not run away but stayed to face the facts, and bear the ordeal! To crawl into one's shell, to be oblivious of whatever conspires in the outside world seems such a convenient option at times. Not to retaliate or face life head-on, and to actually withdraw myself does seem so tempting, but then I started wondering as to was it really required? Or expected? Or helping? I wondered as to what it would really lead to, if everyone started behaving the way I was planning to do? And more important, was it really a solution, as it seemed to be? And let me still confess that it might not be an answer at all, but just an awareness that I have got and shall want to share. Questions, I have already asked too many, and they somewhat seem to be unrelated as well. But believe me, they are not. What binds them together is one single thing-which I shall now divulge:
There is one thing-one small thing-that I decided. And that is to believe. Life is too short and the world too fast and impatient to accord one another chance. Thus, it becomes imperative to believe in oneself, to believe in beauty, and to believe that to live itself is a boon, for it is far better than to be dead or to vegetate, for the dead are put aside to rest in our family albums or hang from the walls, smiling at us forever, only to be remembered once a year-as if to have lived itself was a ritual-while we once again engage ourselves in the busy days that await us. I therefore believe. I believe in beauty, in friendship, in love, in life. For to believe means to have faith, my friends, to have a cause, a reason for doing what one does. It gives us a motivation to live, to love, and to die a happy man so that our impressions can hang-whenever they do- from those mute and immobile walls, and smile at the world long after we are declared dead.
There are a few other things as well though which are worth a mention:
Firstly, value friendship! Take your time before deciding to call someone a friend, but live unto it if you finally give a relationship the name of friendship. Friends are for keeps! So accept them with all their virtues and vices.
Secondly, learn to trust whom you want to trust! Learn to trust your friends. For you can make a person trustworthy only by trusting the person. Even if you are condemned, believe that it is for your good, and not because the person hates you or derives some kind of sadistic pleasure in condemning you.
Thirdly, when you do not want to talk about a particular thing to that person because you maybe angry or fear you would hurt, I think the first thing that should be done is to talk. Talk, because conversation is the best way to establish trust, and taciturnity is its worst enemy. And contrary to popular belief, being candid does not necessarily mean being rude.
Finally, I shall just say that there are very few things in this world that really make us happy. Friends are one such thing. Shining stars, morning sun, flowers are some others. There might be no reason-or at least we may not have been able to reason it out-as to why they bring a smile on our face, but we love and value things which do so.
So, be happy while you can be, and believe that "whatever happens, happens for the good!" With the final note that let this be an elegy to our paltry egos and unwarranted idiosyncrasies, I end. The key is to be happy, come what may! And to live.
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