As a matter of fact, it does strike as quite a strange and unnatural thing to do, and even I have certain inhibitions about the very concept. Most of us anyways believe that chatting is a forte belonging to the computer nerds, and the mavericks of our society.

But having said all that, let me remind myself that it still is just another way of communication; unnatural only to the extent that I alienate myself from it. For after all, I could just as well be stumped in real life if I did not know how to effectively articulate myself. I can still find people around who would be more than willing to take undue advantage of my vulnerabilities, if I did not have my defenses up. I still have to block myself away from all those people who have some hidden agenda, well camouflaged in the garb of bon-homie.

And let me tell you that I enjoy chatting. But unlike most chat freaks I have an interesting if not an absolutely terrific social life. And I have real friends who are scattered all over the world, from Sydney to Santa Clara, and from Lucknow to London. So, being in the confines of my house in front of my laptop, I have reasons enough to thank the Internet for providing a cheap yet effective medium to keep in touch. I have shared many moments of joy, sorrow, pain, and fun with all those who are near and dear to me. I, therefore, wouldnt allow chatting to be written off so easily!

But yes, there is definitely one concern.  The point is not about chatting with friends, but with strangers. And that-as a matter of fact-is a little strange. But then I ask myself is it not true that all friends meet as strangers first? And even if I decide not to philosophize, there is another interesting point here; which I believe in some ways gives an insight into why we even want to interact with strangers.

In this new age society, how much do we really understand and appreciate the concept of friendship? With quick business luncheons and long-dance parties, and even with our list of powerful and elite acquaintances, is it still not true that we find ourselves lonely at times?

In a scenario such as this, if we come across someone who seems charming, it appears to open up a whole lot of possibilities. But then, more often than not, doors close sooner than later. We are either too busy talking about irrelevant things around us, or too afraid to enter into discussions that reflect our real selves. As a result, relationships hardly ever get a chance to become meaningful. The closer we come to a person emotionally, the lesser we want to. The stumbling block? We often misconstrue closeness with intimacy!

The term closeness can only be used in the context of a very intense kind of personal relationship. We are close to people in our real lives. We either live with them or spend a major part of our time with them. We know their likes and dislikes. And we modify and modulate our thoughts and our lives to accommodate them. Such relationships are not only symbiotically nurturing and satisfying, but also very fulfilling. However, it is also true that people in real life tend to be critical - they seem to judge you and be opinionated, to mock at you, to not accept you as you are but as they perceive you to be. And in such a scenario, it becomes difficult to expose yourself like an open book. The stakes are too high, the risks too great and the loneliness amidst the crowd immense!

Intimacy, on the other hand, is more about being focused on yourself. It is about discovering yourself through others, about giving vent to your opinions, secrets, emotions, prejudices, et al without the fear of being ridiculed or rejected. And ironically, you become more apt to relating to strangers. The reason is simple enough you hardly know each other. In the context of a chat room, this relationship works best because people want to just be together without any constraints or expectations.

Chatting with strangers, then, is not only about killing time for want of anything better to do. It is also not just about an urge to satiate your baser instincts. But in a broader sense, it is about discovering yourself in a manner that is least hurting. Its about seeking intimacy, not closeness. And if chatting can never replace a real hug from a real friend, it is only because it was never meant to be that way.

Lastly, I just want to say this - I have made some of my very best friends over chat! We might not have ever met, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I think they are better souls than most others I have met in real life.  And its never been filthy talk with them. Rather, we have talked about psychology and economics, womens liberation and male chauvinism, Indian and World Politics, Hinduism and Islam; virtually everything under the sun. I have learnt a lot from such interactions. It has almost always been an intellectually stimulating and fulfilling endeavor. And I have come out a wiser man out of these experiences.

So, if and when I do come across some idiosyncratic souls in chat sessions, I choose to forgive and forget. The world anyways, is never black and white - it is different shades of gray.  And we always learn from our experiences, whether good or bad.