At times I have wondered if love is momentary? Or is it forever? Is it purely an illusionary concept designed to lull people into a false sense of security? Or is it as natural an instinct as breathing, sleeping and laughing? Is love responsible for the creative urge in us-for our very existence, making us perform better if we have love in our lives? Or is it when people are not fulfilled in themselves, that they seek refuge in this four-letter illusion?

Frankly speaking, it is very difficult to answer these questions. Love would ideally mean peace of mind. But it is also a fact that if you have only love and no work, it goes out of the window. You could call up a woman you love a hundred times a day and romance her, and she will enjoy every moment of it-if you are a successful man. If you are not, then those very phone calls become a nuisance. Even if she genuinely loves you, your frustration and anger will rub on her, and eventually love will cease to exist. People judge you on the basis of what you have achieved, and not how great a lover you are. But it is also a fact that if love is genuine, then you level with each other, understand each other better, give each other space to grow. Imagine, at the end of the hard day, going back home to a relationship that stresses you even further!! Love is to be yourself, to be normal, to not have to have your defenses up all the time.

A lot of people believe that love is happiness, and therefore spend their lives looking for it. It is a futile search as happiness itself, if at all it exists, is not forever, and when it leaves, it leaves you unhappier than before. And yet, it is not true that love can only survive under idyllic conditions. Love should be about fidelity and loyalty. And though happiness may not be forever, love can be, if we equate it not with happiness, but with security. With the feeling that when everything else is wrong, there is at least one thing that is dependable-your love.

I personally believe that one can be at peace and satisfied if he achieves his personal goals. The greatest thrill is growing as a person, learning from ones experiences and from his ambience. Our inner fire has to be kept alive and burning. It is difficult to understand how one can hope to find the meaning of his existence in another person. Love can affect single-mindedness and determination in what we have to achieve to justify our very existence.

One can be tempted by beauty, be mesmerized and infatuated to such an extent that it is mis-interpreted as love. However, beauty is too superficial and temporary to waste time on. But then, another question that comes to mind is whether love and beauty are synonymous. Well, they are not. It might be true that everyone tends to like and love things and people that are beautiful, smart, attractive, et al. And that is probably where the problem lies. Led by ones fantasies- and this image is greatly influenced by todays movies and commercialization of the four letter word-people end up looking for perfection in love with a and they lived happily ever after ending to it. But the real world is nowhere near perfect. One has to understand this to really appreciate the power of love. Love, to survive, has to be brought down to the planes of reality, from the world of fantasy.

For love to be completely satisfying, one has to spend time and energy on it. And by that, I do not mean wooing a girl and trying to impress her with flowers, presents, hyperboles of beauty and the like. These actually tend to become superficial after a time. The problem is that people first go to great lengths in expressing love but later on get bored and start taking love for granted. However, there has to be a consistency in the time and thought that one invests in ones love. And then, the returns will be more than worth it.

Career and love are two separate entities. One cannot take place of another. Career is important to give meaning to ones life, ones very existence. Without it, frustration creeps in. But then, at the end of the day, when you look back at life, it is not really important how many awards you have won or how enormous is your bank account, but whether you really have someone to share these with, one who is happy for your achievements, and respects and loves you for what you are.

Love then supplements your existence, although it possibly can never substitute it.